Recently I have ran into a brick wall… into an ocean with no paddle.
Life has got really hard and it seems its just getting worse, From money problems to everyday life problems… This world has gone down hill and it makes me sad, Really it does. I feel like I fall down deeper and deeper everyday… I don’t even know what to do anymore… So what do I do when everything is falling apart? Having no friends to talk to that understands.. Hell, none at all for that matter.
My heart has an anker holding it down and my eyes create tears every night just thinking :what the hell am I doing?” I don’t know… And how can I fix this place? I don’t know… I try to keep my head up but things just fall apart one by one.
Since i was little i was always dreaming of doing all these things older people did/had lived and i pretended to do grown-up stuff and thinking “I can’t wait to be older”!
It was all that to me and i couldn’t wait to be older and live like all the rest… Little did i know it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be.
I got pregnant at 17 and then moved out a little before my 18th birthday and move with my boyfriend. I was scared, i was going through post partum and i said some pretty mean things
to my mother (which i regret) I also regret moving out so quickly. Life is hard in many ways and super stressful. I now have two kids who are close in age and some days are super stressful where i just have a
breakdown. I regret a lot of stuff in my life and i shouldn’t have grown up so quickly (what was i thinking?) now i have bills to pay, food to cook, children who rely on me, a clean house, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love
my children to bits and i couldn’t picture my life without them.. There the only reason why i’m still sane sometimes, They make me the happiest. I love my family with all my heart, My mom, dad, brothers, and my kids. Some days
i just cry because life is so hard and i wish i could just go back to when life was simple and i was still living at home but that’s the way it goes, You grow up too fast and you end up in situations you never thought you would go through at a young age.
I just wanted to post this and let you know (whoever is reading this) Live your life, Don’t grow up fast!! Enjoy life and don’t take anything for granted. Be you, Be happy, Have fun and just live day by day.